Hello...Mother (Astronema)

Astronema lay quietly on her couch. Her feet were pulled up underneath her, and a shoe box sat on her lap. She lay there, still in her night gown, and her fingers drummed loudly on the lid of the box. It was the only sound loud enough to drown out her heartbeat. It was pounding, so loud that she couldn't think straight. She drummed her fingers, over and over again. Tapping the lid of the shoe box with such force..it barely was enough to drown out the sound of her heart.

Why hadn't he sent one this year? Had something happened to him? With a heavy sigh she increased her tapping, groaning in frustration when her fingers slammed through the lid. Being a vampire, she often forgot that she was a bit stronger than most items could withstand. It had been no trouble at all for her fingernails to slice through the cardboard, and now there were three neat holes in the lid. She sighed and lifted the lid, tossing it across the room in frustration. Where was this years card? What had happened to her baby? Didn't it mean anything to him that she was drowning in worry?

The old grandfather clock that had been in her family since their time in Italy began to ring out. It struck twelve and she looked up at it, and then down at herself. She was still in her night clothes after all. That was unacceptable she supposed. She picked up the shoe box and gently set it down on the coffee table, and stood up. She had just turned to make for her bedroom when there was a knock at the door. She stood there for a moment, silently staring at the door. Who was on the other side? Regardless of who it was, it wouldn't do for her to answer in her nightdress, so she rushed to her bedroom and changed. Thanking her stars, not for the first time, that she was a vampire because she was able to be done in mere seconds. And then she made her way to the door and threw it open to see a young man just starting to walk down the steps from the porch.

She stood there in a frozen shock when he turned to face her. Of course she recognized him immediately. He was older, and his features had changed, he almost didn't look like the same person. But his eyes...Astronema recognized his eyes immediately. They were the same eyes she had stared into from photographs from decades ago. The same eyes she had seen in her dreams, staring at her lifelessly as he died in her nightmares. Then he spoke, saying nothing except "Hello Mother."

She stared at him, unable to gather her thoughts. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to say. All she could do was look at him. And then it hit her. He was there, right there, right in front of her. She felt the blood drain from her face, quite a feat for a vampire, and she quickly leaned against the door as she felt a wave of dizziness wash over her. All she could do was whisper his name. "Damon..."

Astronema still stood there leaning against the door frame. Damon. He was here, standing in front of her. But...it couldn't be. Could it? She narrowed her eyes at him in confusion, and shook her head. He hadn't sent a card this year, she'd thought for sure he'd died...he couldn't be standing here in front of her...could he? "Damon...Damon is it really you? Really?"

He had suggested they go inside, and she slowly nodded in understanding, allowing him to usher her inside. She realized then that she needed to get herself together. She'd spent years putting on the face of a strong woman, with or without a family, and she needed to get back her composure...but her son was here. Her Damon. He was here. How could he be here? Why would he be here?

She suddenly realized that perhaps this was a dream. It certainly wouldn't be the first time she'd dreamt of something similar. Had she not been wearing her night gown only moments ago? It could be a dream. She looked Damon over as they moved into the house. She'd never seen this Damon before, this older version with fine features...in her dreams it was always the young Damon as she'd last seen him. But things change, dreams change. Maybe this was her imagining of what he looked like now.

She couldn't take her eyes off of him as she finally reached the couch, the same one she'd been sitting on moments prior. Even as she reached her hand down to feel the arm rest and slowly slide down onto the cushion, she never took her eyes off of him. She dared not even blink. What if he disappeared? If this was a dream....he could vanish any moment. She wanted to drink him in. What he was wearing, how he smelled - she took a deep breath - the color of this eyes...he was speaking. What was he saying? Questions? Of course she had questions. He'd been gone for....she glanced at the box of cards, that was almost over flowing, one a year for....a long time. How could she not have questions.

He seemed to notice the box now too, and he seemed genuinely surprised that she had kept them. She scoffed, actually scoffed. This couldn't be a dream then. The dream Damon was always gone by now, only here for an instant then gone, and he certainly never noticed the cards. She narrowed her eyes, almost angry at him for even daring to think she wouldn't keep them. "Of COURSE I kept them. What did you expect? They were the only way I ever knew if you were ever alive. For all I knew you could be a pile of dust in a ditch somewhere. Every year I spent waiting, waiting, waiting until that card came at Christmas. And then...." She paused, taking a deep breath to steady herself. When she spoke again she was distant, and looked away from him for the first time. Looking out the window and moving her hand to twist the ring on her hand, the ring that her husband had given her. The only thing that had brought her any comfort over the past....few decades. "You didn't send one this year...I thought....I thought...."

She shook her head and closed her eyes, lifting her hand up to rub at her temple. This was all so much. She looked up at Damon, half expecting him not to be there but of course he was. "I thought you were dead...."

His next sentence had her gasping and clutching the armchair of the couch. She couldn't speak for a moment and finally shook her head once more before looking at him, once again slightly angry with him. "You....You've been here since Christmas....You couldn't come and let me know you were alive?"

She realized that she really needed to get herself together. All of his childhood she had worked to be the strongest person that she could be, not for herself, but for him. She'd tried not to let him see her weakness, she had wanted him to be proud of her. She'd wanted to be a mother that he could look up to and say "I hope I'm as strong as you are one day." But now she felt like she was falling apart. She knew that if he tried to touch her, to hug her, anything...she'd probably break down into tears. She was grateful that he stood nearly across the room, it kept her from being able to throw herself into his arms. She gave him one more look before rising and crossing the room to look out the window. Her fingers went to twist the ring around once more, wondering if her husband would think her weak if he could see her now.

Astronema listened to her son as he spoke, saying he wasn't sure if she'd be angry with him and never want to see him again. She only rolled her eyes at that. What sort of mother would ever be so angry at her son that she would ever wish to not see him? His logic was greatly flawed in that, but she didn't feel like arguing the point now, he was here. That was all that mattered, everything else could be worked out with time, and it would be.

And then he was asking about the ring. At first she was going to answer as she normally would, "it's the only thing I get comfort from anymore." But before she could he finished his thought, saying that it didn't seem like she was upset over his father's, and her husband's, death. She turned to face him with a cold stare as she fought hard against the urge to slap him straight across the face. How dare he assume anything about how she felt! He had no idea. None. When she finally spoke her voice had turned cold, and she spoke every word slowly and clearly. More to make sure she got it out correctly than for any other reason. She couldn't believe he had said that. "How. Dare. You."

She rolled her eyes once more in frustration and turned away from him, walking over to the fire place and looking at a picture on the mantle, one of the three of them, and attempted to gather her thoughts. She gripped the mantle, and didn't bother turning back to him when she spoke again. "Not upset about his death? How dare you assume that!? How could you possibly even begin to think that. I died that day! And every day since then, over and over and over. The only comfort I took from the whole ordeal was that at least I still had YOU! You gave me a reason to be strong and carry on and still do what I needed to do...or at least try to. And then YOU left as well. You went away...how dare you..."

She was so angry, and heartbroken. Her grip tightened on the mantle as she spoke and a piece of it broke off into her hand, vampire strength and all, and she nearly growled as she fought the urge to throw it at him and instead tossed the thing into the fire that was burning, even though it was early spring. She refused to look at him, not wanting him to see the tears beginning to form in her eyes. She turned towards the mantle once more and looked up at the ceiling, trying to blink away her weakness as she had done everyday for the past...nearly seventy years. But he was here, he was standing mere feet away. It was much more difficult to control herself now.